Jun 05 2009
Salesmen unimaginative yet creative…lazy or bored?
Scam artists are loving the job market, and there’s no doubt why. People are stupid these days. Especially me. Recently I’ve been living through craigslist to find short term, long term, part time, and all kinds of jobs. And it’s been working. Sort of. I’ve wasted a lot of time too, but what is time for anyway? So it’s been a fun couple of weeks participating in the crude, sweaty world of the job application. This week it was CUTCO Cutlery with Vector Marketing, as well as Nutrazon. Both operate their sales based on networking through employee connections. Now I don’t know a dollar’s worth about the sales business, so I came off as a total dum-dum at the interviews- but I still got hired! Hmm I wonder why. I humored myself and the interview group as well, and for that I’m simply glad. Something was definitely fishy when I came into the room in capris, a sweatshirt, and sandals to the group of suits and shiny shoes. The companies hire people who don’t have a clue, people who just want money and will settle for minimum wage. But I was curious, so I looked on Google and found that tons of people were worried about these companies being total scams. But no, it turns out they merely use their words a bit deceptively. The products sold are not bad, but the marketers of course claim that they are among the best. I feel pitiful that I could never force myself to do such jobs even if they did make trillions. The funny thing that I want to share is the difference between the two meetings I had this week. I really wish I understood the whole shebang about the process, but perhaps I’ll have the will to delve into it further on another day.
So here’s how it went at Vector: As I explained, everyone was appropriately dressed, and ready to answer whatever questions were shot at them. It was quite like an old fashioned classroom in which the professor would carry a ruler to slap your fingers if you stuttered, except she instead carried a Cutco knife, high-carbon stainless steel, if you were wondering. Now maybe I’m just always paranoid, but from the start I knew something was weird, and I started preparing my remarks for the good-old jester who would point out the candid camera. But everyone else was serious, and sweaty, so I rolled with it. The interviewer was dressed in business attire, of course, and she spoke so fast it was all her lips could do to keep up with her. The sad thing is, there’s nothing they can be blamed for, as they’re entirely legit. Sell the knives, get sixteen bucks for each appointment or some percent of the sales. What I learned: Honesty is not equivalent to intention.
The next day I went to the meeting for Nutrazon. These people were immediately more down to earth; I walked in on a conversation about how you could get millions off churches and the like. True missionaries I guess, but none of them of the white race. Then started the powerpoint, through which the interviewer or the leader explained that this sales company works by a similar process to that of Vector, except instead of making employees buy a hundred-seventy dollar cutlery kit, they have to buy a thirty-five dollar website through which customers buy the product. So employees get a percentage of whatever they sell. No one knows about the product- they say by drinking Nutrazon with all its tropical fruits, you will feel instant results because it balances the hemispheres of the brain. But I didn’t feel anything- they had me drink it, they did the balance test. The balance test is used by all salesmen, from chiropractors to “special” jewelers. Anyway, the stuff tastes like cough syrup. But I was a good student at the Cutco session and I learned that “high-quality” products are sold outside the corporate market or whatnot because they’re deservingly more expensive. So I kept watching the powerpoint, and I also wasn’t listening since I was then imagining all the things that could really be in the drink, like acid- maybe they were just making the presentation believable so I wouldn’t run before I passed out. Maybe they wanted to steal my phone or my wallet, maybe they just wanted to murder me. Anyway, I thought, I don’t like life anyway and if I do survive something risky at least I won’t be bored. So I listened to the guy say “pollutions” when the powerpoint read “pollutants” and thought of how professionalism is really helpful sometimes. I also thought of how these people really didn’t care to be secretive about their goals. They made it clear, “we want money and you better help us get it.” They want their cars, their mansions, a posse of famous rich connections. Their heroes are Robert Kiyosaki and Donald Trump.
I’m from a liberal arts school. I study literature. I liked the Great Gatsby, and of course, Death of a Salesman. Can a person live both worlds, can a person be a sordid money maker while expressing joy in humanity? I don’t know if the two really are so different. I just don’t want to sell something I know nothing about. Take Nutrazon- no one knows for sure what they’re drinking when they open any bottle of store-bought food and drink. Sure the label says this and that, but we know we can’t trust the label just as we can’t trust the government or anyone else. I’m not drinking anymore Nutrazon. But this is a story to be continued.
I appreciate your input. I was told that Nutrazon is made from “extracts from the Rainforests of South America” and I forgot that Rainforests can be either tropical or temperate, so I should have said temperate rainforest fruits. Or if the ingredients are not fruits, then I should have said forest plants or creatures. Now I would love to visit Oahu to see the research but I just don’t have the money. And tons of people drinking the stuff don’t have the money either to go and do the research on their own. And who can anyone trust when they don’t get the facts through their own eyes? You are right when you say that I will probably find fault with all multilevel marketing, i was just using these two companies as examples of my hatred for everything.
I agree with you that those distributors I encountered were not thinking on a level to speak publicly as sales representatives. They are not true businessmen, as the businessman would think enough to hide what they were really thinking and transform those true thoughts into beautiful concoctions that their audience can drink up. I’m not saying Nutrazon doesn’t live up to all the scientist approved tests, I’m saying doesn’t live up to the word of the distributor who says something like..I want to help you achieve good health and prosperity.
But you are right, there’s nothing I should find fault with except my own judgement of the situation.
One thing I won’t agree with though, is that joking is insensitive. I wasn’t exactly joking, actually. I really thought those things… I was really thinking there could be drugs in this stuff, perhaps smuggled into the bottle by some random Joe while I wasn’t looking. I’d say those “jokes” of mine were very sensitive. Perhaps my use of language was deceptive.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll be checking out your site.